Never Ask a Vermonter for Directions

This weekend I decided to venture into the great outdoors with a hike up Putney Mountain. While that sounds impressive, it's a fairly gradual incline. Down and back is only about a mile since the starting point is quite a ways up the mountain. I saw a 75 year old woman in sea green sweater set hiking it. No joke.

While the hike was pleasant, what I actually want to talk about is the drive to Putney Mountain which happened to be just as amusing/enjoyable as the hike its self. Yes, this is another post about me being lost in Vermont. But read on, it's worth it. With my Vermont Explorer's Guide in hand, I hopped in the car thinking I had all I needed. I thought wrong.

Getting to Putney is actually pretty easy--just jump on the interstate and get off a few exits later. And I foolishly thought finding, oh let's say, A MOUNTAIN, would be equally as easy. Now if you're from Vermont or perhaps even spent a few days here you will know this assumption is indeed a foolish one. Vermont is known as the "Green Mountain State" because, well, there's just green mountains everywhere. Pretty much the whole state. But when Midwesterners think of mountains (remember we live in that wide flat land between New York and California), we picture the Rockies--huge pointy peaks covered in snow, so high the tops get lost in the clouds. The Green Mountains remind me more of hills on steroids.  Don't get me wrong, they're gorgeous, I'm just trying to let you know that it is possible to misplace one if you're not exactly sure where it's at.

When I got off in Putney I noticed the typical exit sign: "GAS -->, Food -->, Lodging -->, Phone-->..." Wait, phone?! What was even more odd is that the sign looked fairly new. I'd be very surprised if it was a decade old. Think about it, when was the last time you saw a road sign advertising a phone? In our digital world where cell phones are now some right of passage for 12 year olds, it is very rare indeed that we find ourselves using a payphone, let alone actively looking for one.

While this sign made me chuckle, even having lived here for less than a month I was not terribly surprised. I travel all the time for work, have been to plenty of rural places around the US, and never in my life have I gotten such awful cell service. I don't get any service at my office but there's a rumor that there is a stairwell in the library where you can get service...and one spot in the parking lot...and I found out today there's one in the career resource office at the director's desk...just her desk...not the other side of the room. It's like being a crack addict but instead of chasing down the rock we're looking for precious precious cell bars.

 So I've taken this to be part of "the simple life." Few text messages, dropped calls, my phone often just going to voicemail....It has made me a tad less distracted, but in this day and age I think we've become accustomed to being distracted. Being plugged in 24/7 helps to take us away from the monotony that is our working life. We have texts, FB, the worldwide web....really, how did people distract themselves before the digital age? And how do people get an work done now.....

While I now knew where the phone was in Putney, I still did not where the mountain was. Referencing my handy dandy Explorer's Guide....turn left at the General Store. At this point a road name would have been helpful...because I later found that general store burnt down in the fall of 2009 (oddly for the second time in about a year).

I figured this out after I passed it. After  making a U-turn and after another left turn onto West Hill Road. I referenced the guide again. It read, "just above the Putney School you'll see dirt road on your right." Well I past the Putney School--does that mean I'm "above" it? How can you be above a road? How is that a direction?! Oh, and do you know how many dirt roads, dirt driveways, dirt EVERYTHING there is in Vermont?! Considering this is my second post discussing a dirt road, I'm sure you're getting the picture by now that it's a lot.

To make this rambling story short, I spent the next 20 minutes wandering around dirt roads and a few driveways making wild guesses as to whether they were the correct dirt road. In completed exasperation, I decided to drive a bit further on West Hill road to see if inspiration would strike or I would receive a sign from the heavens...and I did, in the form of a road sign that read "Putney Mountain Rd." Using my amazing powers of deductions, I concluded that this was in fact the road that lead to the mountain. It did. Moral of the story? Don't ask Vermonters for directions unless you feel like going on an unplanned adventure...even if they wrote the directions down in a book.

Dear Mr. Vermont Explorer's Guide,

Typically when someone buys an explorer's guide, it is because  a place is foreign to them, and they would like to explore it. In this case, road signs, when they are actually on the roads, are helpful in said explorations. In future guides, please include road names, not road markers that can be burned down.

Thank you,
Jessica