Thursday, July 8, 2010

They call me 'Dances with Squirrels'


My sister and I have a long running squirrel joke. We both went to large Midwestern colleges were the squirrels absolutely ran amuck. I almost fell off my bike once on the way to class because I saw a squirrel carrying something in its mouth. Upon closer inspection I learned it was ANOTHER SQUIRREL! Another time on my way to the dining hall I found two squirrels screwing on the walkway. Animals. So my sister and I often give each other squirrel-themed gifts...almost as a reminder to stay ever vigilant, because you never know when a sneaky squirrel will venture onto your path.

Last Wednesday a sneaky squirrel did just that. While sitting at my desk my attention was diverted by a scampering noise just above me. This wouldn't have been terribly odd if I was on the top floor of my office. But I'm not. I'm on the first floor. I noted the noise but didn't give it too much thought. Did someone take a dog up to the second floor and I hadn't noticed? Were the office ladies upstairs scampering back and forth on tiptoe? (this actually did pass my mind for a fleeting moment)

A few moments into the scampering Dave appeared at my door saying nothing more than "We've got a squirrel." We spent the next couple of minutes looking both frightened and amused as we listen to the squirrel run between offices.

Now a week previous to this, Amanda had put a box of candy that had been invaded by ants on our back stoop with the intention of taking it to the dumpster. The box sat there for a few days, forgotten, and we soon found a gang of squirrels outside of our office chowing down on Dum Dums and Hersey Kisses. While this whole scenario was hilarious (imagine a little squirrel holding a lollipop in both hand--f*cking cute!), it now meant we had a gang of squirrels hopped up on sugar with their sugar source removed. We now had little crack addicts on our hands with no crack--not so funny anymore....

So upon returning from the holiday weekend this week, we came back to find some "presents" in the office--bits of our old dropped ceiling chewed up and on the floor, kleenex balls that the squirrels had been crawling down in to the office to get to add to their nest, and the sound of small scampering feet above our heads...aww the joys of being in a building that used to be a goat barn! (yes, where my desk sits is probably where goats formerly use to take a sh*t...pleasant thought).  A humane trap has been set so now we just wait...

To be continued...... 

P.s. To my Florida friends, I keep telling myself  "Well, at least it's not a rat." At least I hope not....

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